Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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