He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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