Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
