Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We are two peas in an std pod
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
