Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I need a beard to bite.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
