drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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