New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
