I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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