It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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