Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
