Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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