drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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