It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
