No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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