he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
