Tell her she can't have a vagina
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
