I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
