i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
