I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
