It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
