Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
