I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
