Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
