1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
