didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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