wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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