very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
