dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
