He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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