I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
