My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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