Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
