with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
