Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
