hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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