What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
