...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
