the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
