Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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