god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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