Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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