You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The convent might be a nice break from real life
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
