do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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