I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
