Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
