is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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