I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
