she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize