omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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