Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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