question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
